Measuring Beauty

        Tell me how do you meausure Beauty? On what basis you state that a person is fair? Is it by their skin colour?  Is it by the way they look like? Are height, weight,and the set of teeth, the measuring tapes for beauty?We used to say the proverb, beauty is only skin deep. But don't you think,  the proverb itself is a bit racist? Does beauty depend on skin colour? May be for some illiterate people! I'm not criticizing them.  It's because of the way they were brought up. The elders take classes on beauty classification which will be carried on by their generations like a legacy. Parents in India are shy to give their children proper sex education while they are so much interested in giving them beauty classification classes! These people are so ashamed to say the word 'sex' in front of their children.  So pity! 

     

        Earlier marriage was a system of trade. Today it's more like  trade plus show off scheme.  Inorder to show off to the society men (women too) want their partners to be fair . He or she should not have a dark coloured skin! Of course  for the same men, any woman is fine for satisfying their lust irrespective of their so called beauty, but when it comes to marriage, they had brilliant  beauty demands for their life partners. They need dowry, plus the girl should be fair, tall and should satisfy their imaginations (there are good hearted men too) . And the wonderful system of arranged marriage has become the synonym for trade. Atleast there are some exceptions in this century. Those men and women who do sexting through the social media don't even care how the other person looks like. All they want is someone to satisfy their cheap desires. Just ask these people, would they be willing to marry the same person. Trust me the answer will be 'no' for most the cases. There is a general tendency to normalise anything and everything these days. The result would be a heartless, selfish and materialistic future generation. 

          I really dont understand the concept behind arranged marriages. A man comes to see a girl, if he likes the girl just by her appearance,(nowadays the man should also qualify the woman's so called beauty concepts)  only then they proceed to know about his/her family, background and everything( forget the exceptions).They only get to know each other after that,only after the marriage is conformed. And there isn't a  chance to say no after that, if something goes wrong. If someone does,  that would be a great shame on both the families. It's just like trying their luck. First they get married then they love if possible, or else just live together under the same roof, without love or much attachment just because they were married and for the sake of their families. Some others get divorced. We cannot ignore today's relationships which is as toxic as the arranged marriage system. People just need someone for timepass. They take advantage of the relationship, and consider it as a use and throw medium. If you can't stand till the end, why got into it?  If you are in it, why don't you people stay till the end? If you don't love each other why got into it? You cheat your partners for your parents and family, why dont you people think about all these in the beginning? Does anyone find beauty in a heart that betrays? Ofcourse yes, the  men who come to buy the women and the parents who sell their daughters! Again he will buy her only if she qualifies his beauty concepts (vice-versa).

 How do you presume a person to be good just by their appearances? In this world where there are brilliant actors in real life than on stages, how do you scrutiny the personality of a person? If the society grades a person good, it doesn't mean he or she has to be. The poeple who stands perfect under the daylight needn't be the same in the dark.  May be everything would be a mask. Every marriage has only 50% chance for success and it depends on the love and commitment you give to your life partners.  Ask your children to demand for a life partner who will be by their side, love them and stand with them in their ups and downs, not  because they were married but because they love each other. 

          Don't you think Love should be the foundation for marriage? Money, beauty, health everything fades but not love. Who doesn't know to love their family and relatives(of course, I know we live in a world where mothers kill their own children)? I'm talking to those who believe that love exist only in relations or within family.  When Jesus Christ taught us to love one another, how can you just bluff love exists only within family. There is love in friendship. It's not just sympathy,  but it's our love for mankind we feel within us when we see someone in distress. That's humanity.  How can you say love exists only within family when there are bold soldiers dieing for their homeland? It's all love. Love for mankind! Despite all the material beauty, money, fame, religion or caste, Life is all about love. 

         Who am I to profess love in this world that calls a woman doing prostitution for her living, as a slut and the man who persue  her for satisfying his lust as a man of honour? Who am I to teach love in a world where man values physical beauty more than the beauty of heart, where even friendships are spoiled by lusty chats and sexting, where men treat their wives as sex toys, taking them for granted, where people don't care beauty, when in comes to lust,  but in marriage and love(sometimes even in friendship), where even the small kids tease their fellow kids based on their appearance(of course body shaming is well normalised in our schools even our teachers give a silent support, apart from their own teasing and downgrading)? May be many of us has gone through this atleast once in our childhood. We are being judged based on our academics, colour, appearance, even caste from our very young age itself. The grading system grows in us along with us. Don't you think it is high time to let go of these bullshits?

    

       These were just some random thoughts running in me. There are a lot of exceptions. There are also sincere and loving souls out there. There are also people leading a loving and successful life through arranged marriages.  There are people who don't care bank balance, the popular shitty beauty concepts, caste, religion and other division criteria, and people who love each other as human beings, just like them. 

       You are free to criticize.Let me know your thoughts, opinions and arguments. After all it's the debates that helps you grow out of your narrow mindedness and pursue a broad one. 

    

       As the famous Romantic poet John Keats says in his  Ode on a Grecian Urn, "Beauty is truth and truth is beauty", Beauty lies in our genuinety. We all have flaws, we all have good qualities as well. When we all wear  masks of perfection in the public,  how can we assume ourselves to be beautiful ?Be truthful to yourself and others.  Let others love you for your flaws too. There is beauty in truth.  You are the best in the way you are.  You don't have to wear makeups or shapewears or high heels just to please the blind eyes of illiterate people. Wear it if you like it.  Of course everyone have their likes and dislikes. But that should not be used as tapes for meausuring beauty. Beauty lies in the goodness of heart, realising mistakes and correcting it, bidding lies and sticking on to truth. Above all loving unconditionally, by trespassing all the so called beauty norms and loving  mankind in the same way you love yourself, like Jesus said.