God will give you a good and precious one

"God will give you a good and precious one"

A very positive sentence, but it was the most depressing one, I've ever heard. After all, positives and negatives are all context bound. 

I was already crying when I read this whatsapp message. I gathered up all my courage and texted back.

 "You are the only thing I want. I don't need any other precious one. If I ever get married, it'll be to you. I don't believe that a woman need a man to complete her. But I want to be with you because I love you."

Soon came his reply, I really wondered whether he even read my message. 

"You have to get married. Obey your parents, do as they say. Have a good family and children.Live happily !"

Why isn't he listening to me? I don't want a fifth standard moral science class now. My heart indeed cried out that moment

" Someone please make this man realize how much I love him!"

Why is he always telling that our hand are tied when we could work it out together? How many times should I tell this man that I would never leave him, no matter what? How many times should I beg him to stay and that we can wait till things get right? Am I not worthy enough for him to wait some more? Am I that unlucky girl who has been waiting all this while at an airport just to catch a train? Or is this God cursing me for falling in love? Thoughts formed a train inside my head. 

Again I read his message,

"I'm telling this for your good, afterall who am I to advice you? "

Oh! This indeed irked me. It's more than an year since everything began , and now this man is asking me who is he to me? How many times would I have to tell him that he is my world, he is my everything?

I wanted to write a poem opening my heart, to make him know who's he to me. And I did write a few lines:

You are my each second

And I think of you like I breathe 

You are that morning greetings 

That gifts me lovely days.

You are that "good night" wishes

That gives me the sweetest dreams.

You are that fun filled phone calls

Where I lived my best moments.

You are my twinkling muse

Who blows life to my poetry.

You are that one birthday wish

I long to hear that whole day.

As soon as I wrote this line, I broke into tears. The picture of my 23rd birthday flashed through me. I remembered waiting like a fool from  morning till midnight, for that one birthday wish, from my favorite person. I never cared birthdays before , I always felt "what so big deal about birthdays!".

But that day I really wanted to be happy. I didn't want gifts, I just wanted to be happy, atleast for that day. Just a "Happy Birthday" would make my day. I didn't expect everyone to wish me , but only the ones who were close to me. I knew two of them would never forget, Abhi and Megha, my best friends. I knew they never needed any birthday reminders from Zuckerberg to wish me.  Even my parents did forget to wish me one time.

 I really hoped he would wish me that day . I knew he was trying to stay away from me. I knew he had his reasons,I knew his insecurities, but still I hoped he would. He wished me on my 22nd birthday really well, when we were not even close. I even hoped he would wish me the next day, but he didn't. I was so sad  that day,  I felt like a nobody to the people I love the most. Maybe it was just my thoughts, but that was my worst birthday ever .

He was my happiness, and he advises me to be happy with someone else whom I have never met. What an irony! 

He says I'll be okay, but here I'm writing about him. Eternalising my love for him. 

You can never be loved no matter how hard you try, in a place where people see love,a sin and glorifies betrayal,consoling themselves it's for a good future. You can never be loved when love follows rules and conditions and has popular demands to qualify.  But you can still love, without expectations, without happy endings, holding on to a broken heart, even when you burn in that savoring pain. Because if it's not for Love, what else do you fight for? You can be the change the world always wanted.  In a world where people normalise breakups pointing out a million excuses, which they never had in the beginning, we could be that sincere, unconditional love that is in the edge of extinction.

Now as I sit here writing this, I hear this Elvis Presley's song repeatedly playing inside my head. Oh!  I won't get peace unless I sing it out. And here I go:

🎶"Wise Men say

Only Fools Rush In

But I can't help 

Falling in love with you... "🎶

🎶Shall I stay,

 Would it be a sin?

If I can't help 

Falling in love with you ...🎶