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Hey readers(if I have any)🤭,
Yeah! Hard day!
But I'm fine.(I know you haven't asked 🤭). Have you ever wished that if you were not born?
Maybe I do wish so now!
We all have one life. Why is that we have to live it in pain? (Ok bro! I'm not starting again). I know it's boring to listen to emotional dramas. 
But I really don't have any insight to share right now. It's like my brain is clogged. 
Who found this damn marriage?
I'm really fed up with the thing. O wish I could literally run away from this mess .
I really wish I were kidnapped by someone so that I don't have to go through this marriage crap.
Why is that, they don't understand?
Haven't I told them enough?
Haven't they fed up with the stories they hear?
For God sake, I'm not ready!
I literally sit numb for hours staring at my veins because I can't tolerate this pressure.
I even thought about shaving off my head so that I won't get any suiter. .
Apparently men always falls for peripheral beauty which is always a loop hole. Then I thought about the heart attack I'd give my parents! And I stopped 
It's like I can't hurt them, but I can't get hurt any more either.
I have dreams. Is it so less?
Is it like a woman can't have her own dreams.
Marriage can wait, don't you think?
They say you don't get man if it is too late. As if I care. I lived alone this long, I am bold enough for more (okay! This is me being hypocrite).
Yes! I need someone. More like a friend than a husband. I don't think I can ever be serious in my life. I'll always be me. So naive and stupid me. But I love me the way I am. (If I don't love me, who else would). I even thought, "Why are men so desperate to get married ? Why don't they just wait to fall in love and get married? Why rush through the process? " I even wished if men don't want to marry, then I won't get proposals and I'd be free from this hell. But unlucky me!! 
I wanted to fall in love, enjoy the love and slowly when I am sure, get married. But I feel like my dreams are taken captive by the stupid societal expectations. Oh! If I were born in America!!

I waited for this to stop. But it came in bundles.

How am I going to say to my parents that I dream to marry someone like Arnav Singh Raizada, from Is pyar ko Kya nam doon! 
How am I going to say that I wanted to fall in love like how Liza fell in love with Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. 
How am I going to explain to them that I dream of a man like the Romeo  in Taylor Swift's Love story? 
How am I going to explain that I need a love that brings growth like in Om Shanti Oshana?
How am going to tell them that I wanted to cry with laughter on marrying the one I love, like I see in reels?
I know I'm a stupid romantic.
But this is me.
I want to love and to be loved. I believe love is not a contract as in marriage. Love is beyond marriage.
I believe in a love that transcends boundaries?
But the question is am I worthy enough for that Love?
Maybe my life seems to call out to me, " No you're not".

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