It weighs me down

I  wanted it to stop

To stop coming at me

In bundles and bundles

So Huge that I can't bear.

I thought it'd stop oneday 

Atleast the bundles be less.

I hoped every day and hour 

But the bundles never stopped.

Then I thought I got used to them

While I was savoured by them 

I wanted to come out

But I was trapped.

In every eyes, I looked with hope 

To release me from this mess

I waited patiently,to come out 

To be that innocent me again.

They threw me ropes

But my pain outweighed them

I couldn't come out 

And fell deeper than before.

Tortured in all ways ,in that pit

I still yearned for a hand of love.

I recieved only ropes instead 

Which then turned a noose.

And then He came 

I valued him more

What was him to me 

I haven't given it a thought 

It was good at first

And still it is

But now I live in fear

That it'd pull me down too .

We shared everything 

I felt seen and heard 

For the first time ever

But still it rules 'The Fear'.

I prayed I can't take it more

My heart sank in agony

Longings turned a loop 

Coiled enough that I can't get out.

I pray I can't take it more 

But why is God rude to me

Am I not worthy enough ?

Too shattered that He can't mend?

Then she came home

Like a hand of Nature's love

I got someone to love 

And to lessen my mysery 

She was a beauty

With wings of green

And a tongue of love

But was just an ephemeral hope.

Hope , is but a thing with feathers

Perches deep like her on my shoulders

Never releases nor it holds

In between my heart turned cold.

I'm still at work to deal with pain

Too destroyed and I let it reign

I longed a love like a sky that rains

And here I am in its chains