Curtain on Love

At first, it was numbness

then tears began their silent fall.

I tried to hold them back, but couldn’t,

The pain kept piling,

five years of trauma flooding in me

In just a few hours.

I couldn’t stop the hurt, or my tears.

I told myself it was my fault,

that I was the culprit

yet what hurt the most, I can’t recall.

My mind clogged with agony.

Am I used? Am I worthless?

Did I once again allow myself

to be broken by another?

Questions kept rushing like a train,

knowing answers would never arrive.

I wished for numbness again,

for silence instead of storm.

Not again. Not again.

I felt like Kamala,betrayed,

judged by family and by men,

My freedom mistaken for sin,

My choices weighed against senseless customs.

Why not ask the man?

Why the fear?

If all humans are equal,

why are some made “more equal”?

It all seemed so bright,

I prayed it would never end

but perhaps the curtain falls too soon

on every good things I hold.