What if I lose you?

There is this thing

That storms within me—

A pang of what-ifs.

What if we part

Without even a word?

What if I'd never meet you,

Though I counted the days

Like prayers in silence?

What if hearing your voice 

Becomes just a fading wish?

What if you walk away from me

Just like that?

What if I go through it all again—

Revisiting the traumas

I’ve barely survived?

What if I'd never hear you,

Though I ache for it all day long?

What if you stopped talking 

Just like that?

How am I to know 

What have I done?

What if I never receive one

An answer that suffices me?

What if your responses cease

How am I to know 

If you were fine

Or have I done something wrong?

What if we go strangers again 

Like we never knew

Though we knew enough of us

To work on?

Would it be that

I couldn't name us?

Or would it be that

We'll never have one ever? 

Would it be cause 

I'm just a random someone 

Or is it that

My efforts weren't enough ?

What am I saying 

What am I thinking ?

But I know I'm afraid 

That I might lose you too.

I’m a coward—

Terrified.

No one was good to me.

They all walked away,

As if I were no one.

I never want to rewatch

All that agony unfold again.

I am confused, but deeply afraid—

Of losing you, though

You were never really mine.

I know everyone leaves oneday

You will too, my dear

But now is not the time 

Maybe never!